Wednesday, April 6, 2011

self review of revised essay


1. Introduction- the introduction was factual but it was a bit boring, try to keep reader interested.
2. Thesis- the thesis was easy to understand and clearly pointed out.
3. First paragraph is about chicken. There could have been more details about production of chicken and more quotes should be added to prove your opinion better.
Second paragraph is about vegetables. Add more information about t taste and more about health benefits. Again like first paragraph add more proof and use more sources.
Last two body paragraphs are about preparation.  Description of food was good but more detail on how the 1900’s recipe is more nutritious.
Conclusion restated the main arguments clearly and wrapped up the essay well.
4. There were no major grammar or spelling error but the ay could be a bit more interesting. More facts could have been given and more sources could be used.
5. Your source was not cited correct by MLA standards but there was a bibliography.
6. Your essay was very factual, could be a bit interesting. More proof must be used to back up claims, and more very vague.
Conclusion- I need to spend more time working on proving my point and backing up my arguments.

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